Embracing Emotional Rights - The Women’s Manifesto
Photo by Aiden Frazier on Unsplash
"International Women's Day is a day to celebrate the progress we have made in the fight for gender equality and to recognise the ongoing work that needs to be done."
The ongoing work that needs to be done...
Over the past few years, I have been through a journey of becoming aware, becoming aware that I was a victim of domestic abuse (specifically coercive control and post-separation abuse) and becoming aware of how I, as a woman, was unconsciously persisting the cycle of intergenerational sexism that the patriarchal system thrives upon.
During a recent coaching project I undertook, I spent some time reading up on the UN's Sustainable Development Goal of Gender Equality by 2030. The goal, adopted in 2015, aims to achieve gender equality and empower all women and girls. However, a recent report shows that gender equality is not improving and is, in fact, going backwards. The problem is that social and gender norms actively work against the UN's Sustainable Development Goals, and women are not making the progress needed (Hoominfar, 2021). Intergenerational sexism is as alive as it ever was, and the patriarchal system of oppression is an expert at keeping women unaware and silent.
Clinical Psychologist Dr Sanah Ahsan wrote today about women's mental health and the impact of the patriarchy. She highlights how women are more likely to experience poverty, sexual and domestic violence and notes that many women are then subjected to a mental health system that often ignores the patriarchal roots of their suffering and is itself steeped in misogyny. It is crucial to recognise the impact of systemic oppression on mental health and advocate for an inclusive, empathetic, and trauma-informed mental health system. Other women are also working in this area; Dr Jessica Taylor is one such advocate working to dismantle the pathology of women who aren't silent through her work on understanding victim blaming.
"The definition of a "good girl" hasn't changed much since our grandmother's day. It still means fitting in, fitting around, giving in to what others want us to do, and definitely not upsetting anyone" – Rosjke Hasseldine (2007)
I don't have the solution; however, it is recognised that changing how women see themselves is a key to increasing women's empowerment (Cornwall, 2016). As my awareness of my emotional rights improves, I am becoming more confident in using my voice on this topic. My identity and how I see myself have continued to change since my divorce and will not stop anytime soon. I no longer see myself as a victim or a survivor; I am a woman who is finding her voice and pushing back at the years of gender conditioning I have been through, no matter how scared of the online abuse I will inevitably receive from people wanting to maintain the status quo. That will not keep me quiet; I've spent too many years being quiet. I am determined to impact the women in my world, whether that is through my business or elsewhere. Supporting other women is a necessity to make progress for us all.
My coaching practice is related to work that enables women to become heard in their lives. My ideal client has a core need, no matter their background, the need to become emotionally unsilenced, unlock this, and everything else becomes easier for them to achieve.
It starts from a place of creating awareness: helping my clients become aware of and understand how their existing behaviour impacts them before moving on to assisting them in making personal changes to increase their ability to advocate for their needs.
A motto I have had for a long time is Find your Voice, Find You, and the Women’s Manifesto I have created below has that in mind throughout.
At the heart of The Women's Manifesto is the recognition that self-care and respecting your needs are essential to a woman's emotional wellbeing. This includes the right to focus on yourself, to say no to others' requests, and to be unconditionally accepted and respected. It also emphasises the importance of autonomy and the right to make your own decisions. The right to safety and autonomy over your body is a fundamental right that women are far too often deprived of.
The Women's Manifesto is a powerful statement that underscores the importance of valuing yourself, self-care, and the right to be seen, heard, and respected. It also recognises the impact of systemic oppression on mental health and the need for a mental health system that is inclusive, empathetic, and trauma-informed. However, as we work to make impactful changes, we must recognise the unique challenges marginalised communities face. Women in these communities face additional barriers and discrimination that must be acknowledged and addressed in the fight for gender equality. It shouldn't be a fight, but it is.
So, as we celebrate International Women's Day, let us recognise the ongoing work needed to ensure that all women have access to the rights and resources they deserve. Education, information, and empowerment are essential for creating an environment where all women can thrive and pursue happiness in all aspects of their lives. We must continue to work together to create an equitable society where women can be seen, heard, and respected.
The Women's Manifesto
Bill of Emotional Rights
You have the right to be respected and valued.
You have the right to care for yourself and honour your needs.
You have the right to say no.
You have the right to unconditional acceptance.
You have the right to be seen.
You have the right to your voice, opinions, and feelings.
You have the right to be believed.
You have the right to autonomy over your body.
You have the right to be free and independent.
You have the right to your own money.
You have the right to make your own decisions.
You have the right to safety.
You have the right to be heard, nurtured, and emotionally supported.
You have the right to pursue happiness in all aspects of your life.
Click here to download The Women’s Manifesto as a pdf.
If you want to start your own journey of awareness, a good place to start is The Silent Female Scream by Rosjke Hasseldine.
"Learn how to believe that as a woman you have the right to be heard, valued and respected, and to know that anything less is just not okay" Rosjke Hasseldine (2007)
