Healing From Domestic Abuse: The Impact Of Positive Psychology
I spent the summer of 2021 researching and writing my MSc Applied Positive Psychology dissertation, and it’s taken me a while to feel comfortable putting it out there. But, domestic abuse research is so important. If my somewhat unique story, related to positive psychology, helps the work other researchers are doing with survivors, then it’s worth being uncomfortable for a moment. There’s a lot more in my story that is not covered in my dissertation as it would take a PhD to research it thoroughly, maybe one day 🤔
The below is a long piece in an academic writing style rather than my typical Medium post style. The formatting of an academic paper doesn’t translate well into Medium so please forgive any issues you find whilst reading. Enjoy, and please share with any domestic abuse researchers, victims and survivors if you wish. The full paper, including references, can be found here.
Abstract
Domestic abuse causes severe physical and mental health consequences, causing anxiety, depression, PTSD, and a lack of psychological wellbeing. A woman who knowingly or unknowingly experiences domestic abuse can suffer a lifetime of poor mental health even after leaving the relationship. Positive Psychology interventions in existing domestic abuse situations may be difficult to conduct without causing harm. There is a limited amount of research available on how women heal after being victims of abuse. This autoethnography explores how a woman who unknowingly experiences domestic abuse can heal and become aware through with the help of PP interventions whilst studying on a MAPP Programme. The author’s journal entries, reflective MAPP assignments, memory data and a transcribed interview were subjected to inductive and deductive thematic analysis revealing three overarching themes of a healing and awareness journey throughout studying on the MAPP programme: Mastery, Empowerment and Changing Identity. Mastery and Empowerment enabled initial transformations, with each impacting the development of the other. Both facilitated Changing Identity to occur. Three salient psychological concepts were discovered, that, when combined with Positive Psychology, influenced the change seen: Hope Theory, Schema Change and Cognitive Dissonance. Additional research integrating other therapies with PP Interventions for use in the context of domestic abuse would deepen understanding of healing and lower the risk of a victim returning to the perpetrator.
Healing from Domestic Abuse: The Impact of Positive Psychology
After many years of work across the women’s sector in the UK, the Domestic Abuse Bill received Royal Assent in April 2021 and was signed into law, becoming the Domestic Abuse Act. The Act aims to protect survivors better and strengthen measures against perpetrators. It puts into place the following legal definition of domestic abuse “Any incident of controlling, coercive, threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality. This can encompass but is not limited to the following types of abuse: psychological, physical, sexual, financial, emotional. Controlling behaviour is a range of acts designed to make a person subordinate and/or dependent by isolating them from sources of support, exploring their resources and capacities for personal gain, depriving them of the means needed for independence, resistance and escape and regulating their everyday behaviour. Coercive behaviour is an act or pattern of acts of assaults, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish or frighten their victim.” (Strickland & Allan, 2018: p. 23). For organisations working within victim support, the Act is a small victory in their ongoing fight to increase awareness of domestic abuse across society. As the legal definition shows, domestic abuse is not limited to occurring only between intimate partners currently living together but post-separation and between other family members.
Domestic abuse is often not reported to the police; in the year ending March 2020, an estimated 2.3 million adults in the UK suffered domestic abuse, and these were only the reported incidents. In April 2020, 66.7% of survivors experiencing abuse during lockdown reported that their abuser was using Covid 19 restrictions and its consequences as part of the abuse (Women’s Aid, 2020). By mid-May 2020, only six weeks into the first UK Covid 19 lockdown, there was a rapid increase of 12% in the number of cases referred to victim support (Office for National Statistics, 2020). The full extent of the impact of the Covid 19 pandemic on occurrences of domestic abuse is not yet known. However, these early figures indicate the problem may have escalated throughout as victims have become isolated and forced to spend more time with the perpetrators whilst routes to support and safety have become more limited.
Before the Covid 19 pandemic, there were already many barriers to victims leaving an abusive relationship. Part of the problem is that many victims, typically women, are often unaware of being abused, particularly when abuse is not physical. Data shows that, on average, it takes 2–3 years for medium to high-risk victims of domestic abuse to seek help after the abuse starts, reporting the abuse to the police multiple times before getting effective help (SafeLives, 2015).
Domestic abuse has far-reaching consequences on society that may not be immediately obvious to the public. A third of women across the globe are affected by domestic abuse (Women UN, 2014) and 26.3% in England and Wales (Strickland & Allan, 2018). Estimated financial costs to society are £15.73 billion a year in the UK and 228 billion Euros across the EU (Walby, 2009; Nogaj, 2013). Many children live in homes where there is high-risk domestic abuse, and 62% of children living in such homes experience direct harm from the perpetrator, as well as psychological harm from witnessing the abuse of others (Caada, 2014). Given the potential for the cycle of abuse to continue through future generations, it is surprising that education and awareness preventative measures are not a higher priority for governments.
Awareness
There has been considerable research into domestic abuse and why women do not leave or seek help. There are many barriers to seeking help; denial, shame, self-blame, hopelessness and feeling powerless often keep the abuse a secret from others (Beaulaurier et al., 2005). Other women are unaware of what is happening and the effects on themselves and their children (Prosman et al., 2014; Walker, 2017), increasing the likelihood of the cycle of abuse perpetuating through generations. It is easier for people to understand what is happening to others than to themselves and to declare how they would behave if it happened to them. When a victim experiences abuse, they experience conflicts in their identity whilst trying to make sense of their situation (Berns & Schweingruber, 2007).
The most dangerous time for a woman experiencing domestic abuse is when she decides to leave, with a considerable risk in the likelihood of post-separation violence. On average, in the UK, a woman is killed by her partner or former partner every four days. 43% of 888 women killed by partners or former partners over ten years were known to have taken steps to separate or had separated from the perpetrator (Wertans et al., 2020).
Domestic abuse without physical violence makes it even harder for a victim to identify themselves as a victim. Abusers can easily deny psychological, economic, and coercive control forms of abuse through an insidious form of emotional manipulation known as gaslighting. This leaves victims often unknowingly suffering domestic abuse and its ongoing consequences (Stern & Wolf, 2018). Domestic abuse causes severe physical and mental health consequences, causing symptoms such as anxiety, depression, and PTSD alongside a general lack of psychological wellbeing (Trabold et al., 2020). A woman who knowingly or unknowingly experiences domestic abuse can suffer a lifetime of poor mental health even after leaving the relationship (Lagdon et al., 2014).
The statistics are frightening, and interventions in existing domestic abuse situations may be difficult to conduct without causing harm. Positive Psychology has come under fire in the context of domestic abuse for its apparent ‘victim blaming’ stance that one’s happiness is within one’s control. Perpetuating ideas of one-size-fits-all positivity without considering context comes with risks (Sinclair et al., 2020). Lyubomirsky’s (2001) suggestion that everyone has a higher capability to impact their happiness through changing behavioural and thinking patterns than their external circumstances is dangerous in the context of abuse. Suggesting the problem lies with a victim rather than the perpetrator increases a victim’s self-blame and powerlessness, whilst pressuring victims to be positive may add to their denial of reality (Sinclair et al., 2020).
After conducting a narrative review of 29 studies in the context of domestic abuse, Sinclair et al. (2020) highlighted a need for further research on PP interventions to prevent unintentional harm to vulnerable people. They suggested that Positive Psychology as a discipline needs to ensure it effectively considers the dangers of applying PP interventions in specific contexts. It is clear that the matter is highly complex and requires more research on the efficacy of PP interventions in domestic abuse contexts. What happens after a woman escapes domestic abuse and begins to heal from the trauma is equally as complex and underresearched.
Healing
Research available on how women heal after being victims of abuse are primarily small qualitative studies. Difficulties of studying this area are that the healing and recovery process is predominantly unique to each survivor’s situation. However, the research is of value, and with increasing numbers of studies over time, common themes may develop.
Farrell (1996) identified four major themes of healing taking place:
Flexibility — acknowledging the past, adjusting boundaries, and increasing self-awareness and resiliency; Awakening — moving towards inner peace and realising an ability to make one’s own choices; Relationship — restoring one’s ability to trust, integrating a sense of self and connecting with others; and Empowerment — increasing one’s ability to move towards personal accomplishments and make choices for one’s life.
Later research by Allen and Wozniak (2010) offered a three-stage recovery process: Separation — moving forward from previous ways of living; Liminality — a period of uncertainty where roles and relationships are re-evaluated; and Incorporation — the emergence of a new integrated identity.
Falsch et al., (2017) proposed a model of healing which incorporates Intrapersonal processes — recreating a new identity, becoming empowered and moving forward; and Interpersonal processes — creating a safe and trusting support network, connecting with fellow survivors, and becoming an advocate by helping others.
Most recently, D’Amore et al., (2021) identified three overarching themes related to the self and relationships in women healing from domestic abuse: Awareness and Insight, Renewal and Reconstruction and Transformation and Meaning. The study used existing data collected as part of a much larger project; therefore, it contained the largest number of participants of all suggested models and is arguably the most important research to date in this area.
Findings that healing is a personalised and multidimensional process are evident across the models and they all suggest a journey similar to the phenomenon of post-traumatic growth. After suffering an event that causes fear, distress, extreme hardship and shatters a person’s schemas and core beliefs, positive change and transformational growth can occur (Janoff-Bulman, 1989; Tedeschi & Calhoun, 2004). Even though the healing process is complicated by the loss of the sense of self a victim experiences, a woman who has suffered abuse has a capacity for post-traumatic growth if given adequate support (Czerny et al., 2018; Merritt-Gray & Wuest, 1995). However, current post-traumatic growth research implies that women who have unknowingly experienced domestic abuse may not experience any form of significant post-traumatic growth. The possibility exists that as they are unaware of the trauma inflicted upon them, shattered schemas and core beliefs are therefore not repaired, or they have an inherent troubled sense of self, maladaptive schemas and core beliefs and are unaware of their nature so they remain troubled.
At this time, research on healing from domestic abuse focuses on victims who healed whilst being aware of their previously suffered abuse. It is absent on victims who healed before they became aware they had suffered domestic abuse. When a woman has unknowingly experienced domestic abuse and is not able to recognise the effects of trauma, they are at risk of being misdiagnosed by GPs, not given sufficient support to enable the process of healing to take place and are at continued risk of re-victimisation (Lagdon et al., 2014; Sinclair et al., 2020). Whilst the implications of remaining unaware of past abuse are great, the difficulties in researching this concept are apparent: how can research take place on victims who are unaware that they are unaware? Furthermore, how do victims become aware that they were unaware?
Creating a new sense of self during the healing process is consistently found to be salient in research (Farrell, 1996; Smith, 2003; Allen & Wozniak, 2010; Hou et al., 2013; Flasch et al., 2017; Czerny et al., 2018; D’Amore et al., 2021). Moreover, a compelling theme across the current findings on healing is a change in perspective about the future; women reported that they developed a sense of hope and demonstrated hopeful thinking and activities whilst on their healing journey (Allen & Wozniak, 2010; D’Amore et al., 2021).
Hope
Hope was defined by Snyder (2002) as one’s perceived capability to find routes to reach desired goals (pathway thinking) and the belief one holds in their ability to motivate themselves to use those pathways (agency thinking). Goals are approach goals, i.e., something a person wants to achieve, or avoidance goals, i.e., something a person wants to move away from. Hopeful thinking can be affected by positive and negative emotions and develops through repeated attempts at reaching desired goals. The theory has been criticised for its similarities in concept to self-esteem, self-efficacy, and optimism (Lopez & Snyder, 2011) and given the need for goal-directed thinking, it is hard to see how hope interventions based on this theory would be effective in domestic abuse contexts.
A multidisciplinary approach put forward by Scioli & Biller (2009) is an alternative theory of hope which may provide a more impactful understanding of the healing process and possibilities for using effective PP interventions in domestic abuse contexts. This approach defines hope as an emotion connected with one or more life domains of mastery, attachment, survival, and spirituality. In this sense, hope is a network constructed from biological, psychological, and social resources and built over five levels (Scioli et al., 2011).
The theory describes how the foundations of hope are developed by moving through the different levels from birth, with each level supported by the lower levels. At level three, the ‘Hopeful Core’ exists where hope is related to three trait clusters, each providing motives for a level of hope. The first trait is related to survival, i.e., the ability to manage ‘terror’ or that one’s survival is essential to others, and ‘hopeful resiliency,’ i.e., the capacity to sustain hope in the face of stress and uncertainty. The second trait is related to the attachment of others, i.e., one’s trust in the availability of others or trust in the availability of guidance from God or a higher spirit. The third trait is related to mastery and attachment, i.e., one’s ‘will to hope’ or openness to hope. The theory suggests that hope can be built through five levels of the ‘Hope Network’. The upper-most level is founded on the cumulation of the lower levels and is where hopeful behaviours are displayed.
There is a dearth of research on hope and healing from domestic abuse. However, hope has been found to be malleable and hope therapy has shown symptoms of distress can be decreased and wellbeing increased using hope interventions (Cheavens & Guter, 2018). This points to the possibility for the potential success of interventions that manipulate hopeful thinking to allow a vision of a future free from domestic abuse.
As previously discussed, hopelessness is a barrier to leaving an abusive relationship, and current research on healing from domestic abuse does not consider the specifics of how women healed from domestic abuse. For example, what women did and what their lifestyle was like in the process. PP interventions can exacerbate an abuse situation through feelings of self-blame; or positivity increasing a victim’s belief that the perpetrator will change their behaviour (Sinclair et al., 2020). Therefore, it may be that interventions focused on enabling a woman to have a vision of a different future for herself, one where she is free of the abuse and is healing, would have a more successful impact in an abuse situation.
The knowledge that a woman who unknowingly experiences domestic abuse can suffer a lifetime of misdiagnosed poor mental health even after leaving the relationship is concerning, particularly with the rise of the wellbeing industry increasingly popularising PP interventions. Given the prevailing gaps in research, it is imperative that a more comprehensive understanding of the healing processes in women recovering from abuse is established to enable effective and safe PP interventions for domestic abuse contexts. This research aims to build to the above studies by giving a currently unexplored viewpoint. It offers a unique perspective of how a woman who unknowingly experiences domestic abuse can heal and become aware with the help of PP interventions whilst studying on a MAPP Programme.
Method
Design
An autoethnography design method was employed. Autoethnography is a qualitative transformative research method described as posing a means to give a voice to personal experiences, allowing for an explicit link between such personal experiences to theoretical concepts in the literature (Wall, 2008). The approach grants access to data where otherwise there would be no access and enables researchers an opportunity to communicate numerous world views, allowing readers to make connections to their own lives without compromising the need for scientific rigour (Rich, 2017; Custer, 2014; Mendez, 2014). An inherent level of researcher bias is acknowledged in this research and was counterbalanced by attempting to examine the collected data from a distanced observer position and using thematic analysis following the guidelines suggested by Braun & Clarke (2006).
The autoethnography was written relating to the author’s personal experiences of studying on a MAPP programme. It explores what changes occurred, which allowed her to see history through fresh eyes and become aware that she had been a victim of domestic abuse during a troubled period of her life a decade ago.
Procedure
Data was collected over ten weeks from the following sources: a) personal data from the author’s reflective journal entries; b) the author’s reflective assignments written during the MAPP Programme; c) a transcribed interview with the author conducted by a fellow student in 2019 relating to the author’s experiences as a student on the MAPP Programme; and d) the author’s recalled memory data of the period explored.
The collected data was organised in chronological order to provide a level of control for bias. Buckinghamshire New University Psychology Ethics Committee provided ethical approval, and consideration was given of telling a personal story and the potential for harm that may occur either to the researcher and/or the people involved.
Data Analysis
The raw data was entered into Quirkos — a qualitative data analysis software tool. Thematic analysis was conducted following the guidelines suggested by Braun & Clarke (2006). The stages of thematic analysis were as follows: familiarisation with the data, generating initial codes, searching for themes, reviewing themes, naming, and defining themes, and producing reports. Initial coding and analysis took place using deductive thematic analysis with the expectation of finding themes relating to Snyder and Scioli & Biller’s Hope theories discussed earlier in this paper. Secondary coding and analysis took place using inductive thematic analysis to allow the data to expose other themes that may be within.
Findings
This examination began with the intention of unravelling how a woman who unknowingly experiences domestic abuse can heal and gain awareness in the context of studying a MAPP programme. The data was examined for evidence of Hope theories with deductive themes created and further examined for evidence of inductive themes that emerged. The findings demonstrate a healing and awareness journey taking place throughout studying on the MAPP Programme.
Figure 1: Timeline of PP Interventions and Changes Experienced (created by author)
Figure 1 shows a timeline of PP interventions used and the changes experienced. Healing occurred as identity changed, and awareness of abuse occurred alongside redefining relationships and integrating the new identity. The most extensive period of healing took place during Year Two of the MAPP Programme.
Three major themes were identified in the data, each incorporating subthemes. Two themes were identified relating to Hope theories: Mastery (encompassing subthemes of Way Power and Self-Belief) and Empowerment (encompassing subthemes of Will Power and Spiritual). A further theme was identified: Changing Identity (encompassing a subtheme of Understanding and Redefining Relationships). Mastery and Empowerment were highly intertwined, with each impacting the manifestation of the other in a cyclical motion. As mastery increased, empowerment increased, which subsequently affected the ability to gain further mastery. Over time, changes in both mastery and empowerment allowed changes in identity, leading to healing and an eventual awareness of abuse.
Mastery & Empowerment
The themes of Mastery and Empowerment occur throughout the data building over time and having increasing impacts on healing, empowerment, and changes in identity. Hope theory subthemes of Way Power, Self-Belief, Will Power and Spiritual are evident, with low levels of all before starting the MAPP Programme and increases seen throughout the period.
Before starting the MAPP Programme, I had a considerable focus on moving away from my current life situation. I sought self-improvement goals and expressed multiple wishes that I wanted “to enjoy my life again” and have a better life. I believed that achieving new skills and changing my life situation would allow me to gain freedom from the negative circumstances in which I felt trapped. However, I felt stuck in how to move forward. Unknowingly, I was experiencing a period of post-separation abuse, which had been happening on and off for a decade. One experience was so significant that I realised I did not like who I became in those moments, and I could ‘choose’ to be free of my ex-partner’s control. I named that date ‘Freedom Day’, and everything afterwards was seen as my new life. Six weeks later, I enrolled on the MAPP Programme. In this sense, I was building mastery over my new life and achieving feelings of empowerment.
I don’t like who I’ve become in this and it needs to change. I have walked away from a fight. I am setting myself free from his control. The future may be tough at times depending on what he does, but I will cope and survive with dignity. I’d rather be happy than right, and I’d rather struggle than let him control my life anymore. 12th April 2017 — Freedom Day.
While gaining new skills and experiencing changes in my happiness levels in Year One of the MAPP Programme, a sense of mastery and self-belief started to amplify over time. I was empowered to change my focus from negative circumstances to ‘moving towards’ something better. The strengths module allowed me to understand for the first time in my life that people’s strengths were not fixed and could be influenced.
I had completely failed to notice there were potentially parts of ‘me’ which would, if worked upon, be a positive benefit and enable me to succeed and achieve things I’d previously not considered an option. Taken from assignment submitted 6th December 2017.
I quickly gained a sense of achievement in what I was doing and could see changes starting to take place within me. I completed some happiness questionnaires as part of the module assignments and had data validating my positive feelings.
I am confident that I will continue to look for positivity in my days regardless of any negative situations that appear, leading to the accumulation of positive emotions over time. Taken from assignment submitted 13th April 2018.
Year Two brought a vast increase in self-confidence. I was empowered to focus on changing parts of my identity that I no longer wanted. At this point, a sense of mastery is strongly related to the changes in identity I was seeking. I was certain that I would find solutions to parts of my life and self that I did not like and find ways to achieve my goals. I used self-compassion interventions for two assignments during Year Two. Understanding and utilising the theory of self-compassion changed me considerably and empowered me to push forward with other life changes.
Between October and November as a result of this intervention my self-compassion scores moved from 2.94 to 3.82. I also started to think about selling my house — the former marital home and moving somewhere else — somewhere which was all my choice. October — November 2018 memory data.
After completing Year Two, my focus turned to my future life as a ‘new me’. My self-belief was skyrocketing, and I was noticing growing signs of spirituality within me. The last assignment I completed in Year Two involved releasing worries and fear and ‘learning to live’; in doing this, I put spiritual practices into place that were integrated into my life and part of my new identity.
Life is essentially good and the universe has my back. Building faith, that’s the key for me. Increased faith will replace fear and when the fear is no longer in control, I will be free. 1st February 2020.
I had a definite sense of mastery over my life choices, was feeling empowered and starting to ‘dream big’ for the first time in my life. The beginning of the first Covid 19 pandemic UK lockdown coincided with the completion of selling my home. Therefore, it allowed me to be in a position where I could make choices for the rest of my life that I would have never previously considered without the time during lockdown to reflect.
The final part was spirituality, being able to hand over my longstanding fear and trusting that I was looked after, both by myself as well as the universe. May was a particularly big month for me, during which time I made the decision to completely change my lifestyle by relocating to become mortgage-free. April — June 2020 Memory Data.
Changing Identity
Whilst Mastery and Empowerment drove me forward, the theme of Changing Identity and subtheme of Understanding and Redefining Relationships account for my ability to eventually understand I had previously been a victim of domestic abuse and was still occasionally experiencing it. Over time, through changes in my identity, I began to understand that my core beliefs around self-worth and relationships were faulty and were being changed through the PP interventions I was using. I gradually understood that my caregivers had modelled abusive behaviours in childhood and taught me that those behaviours were okay and that I should expect them from others. Until my core beliefs changed, I had no reason to question abusive behaviours even though I intensely disliked them. My solution was to spend less time with the perpetrators and behave in a way that always maintained the peace, putting everyone else’s needs before mine. I knew that I was exhausted from this, and before starting the MAPP Programme, I was experiencing declines in my health every time I had to face an issue with my ex-partner — issues which I now know to be post-separation abuse. I never considered that my caregivers mistreated me; therefore, I accepted the same behaviour and, more, from others, thinking it was my fault I was unhappy and that I was to blame. I had no awareness that I had been a victim of abuse, even though I had actively named abuse on occasion in my journals.
I made a short comment about not tolerating abuse and violence in my life in relation to an event with a family member and how I felt I was being punished for the actions of them. I remember feeling that I did not want that kind of behaviour in my life, I also remember not understanding that it was abuse, and that I was a victim. June 2017 Memory Data.
At the beginning of Year One of the MAPP Programme, the Strengths module had a powerful impact on me. It was the first time in my life that I realised I could change who I was through unrealised behaviours and planted the seed that I had learned behaviours that I did not enjoy. The following modules on Hope and Positive Emotion reinforced the idea that I could change who I was as I completed one assignment reflecting on the past alongside one reflecting on the present day. This combination kick-started four months of actively questioning my identity.
During the module on Positive Emotions, I undertook a loving-kindness meditation and tracked my positivity-ratio. I noticed this dropped on the days I had an interaction with my ex-partner and that it grew through a focus on increasing micro-moments with work colleagues. At this point, I began to start understanding and redefining relationships. My awareness of abuse was still non-existent; however, I started to name my ex-partner’s on-off behaviour as bullying.
He is a huge bully and just expects people to jump when he says so. I want him gone from my life! 29th July 2018
During Year Two, I accelerated changes in my identity and experienced another period of understanding relationships, mainly through working closely with other MAPP students on two assignments. One assignment involved co-coaching a fellow student to facilitate a PP intervention, and we both focused on self-compassion. Using self-compassion interventions was a new skill for me. I had been brought up to put other people’s needs first and not voice any needs of my own, so to spend time on my needs and receive validation made me understand what I had never received from my caregivers. I started to feel supported by another person and less isolated in general.
I remember how liberating it was to be able to talk to someone who understood my experience, and how validating it was for me that I was listened to — something I had little experience of in the past. October — November 2018 Memory Data.
There then followed a long period throughout the year of redefining relationships, both family and intimate relationships. I used self-compassion interventions in two assignments across Year Two; this changed my identity immensely and gave me ‘permission’ to increase my focus on myself and what I needed. My awareness of abuse was still limited. I agreed with a fellow student that an experience in my past was abuse, and I expressed a wish never to accept it again, but I still did not identify with being a victim and quickly forgot about it.
What happened was described as abuse last night by a girl on my master’s course. It completely was abuse, the intentional way he made me feel like I was going crazy, and yet I still feel like it was something I had to put up with and just get on with dealing with it. I need to build my self-compassion and not just accept mistreatment. 2nd November 2018
The final assignment was related to the Journey of Change module. I used this as an opportunity to tackle the most annoying habit in my life, referred to as ‘forgetting to live’, which I now understand was a trauma symptom. During this assignment, I gained an understanding of change processes and successfully put in place many practices that I still use today. I built my self-worth, and I experienced continuing changes towards a healthier identity.
During the course of undertaking the MAPP my internal narrative of self has been continually questioned and reflected upon through conducting Positive Psychology Interventions on myself and looking to the future, towards life goals after the MAPP. Over time, my previous model of identity has been chipped away at and a new model of identity has been allowed to appear and flourish. Taken from assignment submitted 23rd May 2019
During the following year, between completing Year Two and starting my dissertation year, the Covid 19 pandemic started. Soon afterwards, through a series of coincidental events, I finally recognised the past abuse in my life for what it was and how much I had changed. The following describes this recognition.
I saw their behaviour towards each other through my daughter’s eyes. Their behaviour was still the same behaviour I’d experienced as a child and seen glimpses of as an adult; however, I had not realised how bad it was, and how they had not changed in any way. My self-worth had increased to healthier levels, my core beliefs had changed, I recognised toxicity for what it was. Until two incidences directly occurred between my main caregiver and I, with her abuse also taken out on my eldest daughter in the 2nd occurrence, I still failed to understand the extent of the psychological abuse and emotional neglect I suffered as a child. Coincidentally during this period my ex-partner also reappeared and started a new campaign of post-separation abuse towards me. Neither of these situations caused me any emotional harm, it was as if I was a different person, simply seeing abusive behaviour for what it was and refusing to allow it into my world. I went on to quickly understand that my childhood schema around relationships was faulty, I was modelled abuse and told it was love. Until I had experienced that abuse as a healed adult, and my core beliefs told me that the responsibility was theirs’s not mine, I could not understand that my ex-partner was also abusive. He behaved the same way as my caregivers and I grew up being taught that it was okay, I had learned abuse was love and therefore how he, and they behaved was okay, it was not. If I called his behaviour abuse, it meant my family of origin had never been good and loving towards me. Making this connection finally set me free, it made me understand none of it was my fault and there was nothing wrong with me. April — June 2020 Memory Data.
Throughout the MAPP Programme, I completed various happiness, hope, meaning in life and self-compassion scales related to the PP interventions I used for assignments. I have recently retaken the first two I took in 2017 and am happy to see that my results below reflect the changes that I have experienced.
Subjective Happiness Scale = 4, Oxford Happiness Questionnaire = 3.7 29th September 2017
Subjective Happiness Scale = 6.5, Oxford Happiness Questionnaire = 5.14 13th July 2021
Discussion
This study began with the intention of exploring how a woman who unknowingly experiences domestic abuse can heal and become aware of past abuse through with the help of PP interventions whilst studying on a MAPP Programme. The findings revealed a healing and awareness journey that took place throughout studying on the MAPP programme. Themes of Mastery, Empowerment and Changing Identity were found. Mastery and Empowerment account for early transformations throughout the period, with each building the development of the other. Both allowed for Changing Identity to result from these transformations with the resulting capability for the author to see history through fresh eyes and become aware of past and ongoing abuse.
I commenced this study with a few questions I wished to answer about my experience studying on the MAPP Programme. How do you heal from abuse when you do not recognise that it is abuse that has happened to you? Furthermore, how can you understand that abuse is happening to you when you have never been modelled anything else? For me, the concept of Post Traumatic Growth did not seem to fit with my experience of a period of post-separation abuse I went through a decade ago and the changes I felt throughout the MAPP Programme. I was completely unaware that the experiences I had been through were abuse, and my core beliefs were not shattered. I only knew that my life could be better, and I was trying to move away from something. Even though I underwent therapy after the period, I still did not connect that the situation was abuse and not my fault.
Throughout undertaking the MAPP Programme, my self-identity transformed, and I experienced two familiar situations during the UK Covid-19 lockdown of Spring 2020 in a completely different way to how my past self would have experienced them. One with my childhood caregivers, and coincidentally during the same period, one with my ex-partner. These situations led me to finally understand that emotional and psychological abuse occurred during some earlier periods of my life and that I was not to blame. There were two versions of me, one before the MAPP Programme and one after the MAPP Programme. Being able to make the connection between the perpetrator’s behaviours from my new identity set me free. Therefore, I wanted to focus my research on exploring what influences contributed to the change I saw in myself. Three salient psychological concepts stand out to me in this change that, when combined with Positive Psychology, influenced the change I had seen: Hope Theory, Schema Change and Cognitive Dissonance.
Hope Theory
In exploring the data, it became clear that before the MAPP Programme, I had a strong desire to move away from unhappy life circumstances and only later moved towards goals that offered an avenue to creating something better. I did not start to question my troubled identity and core beliefs until during the MAPP Programme. I found this aspect of the journey fascinating and was left wondering what motivated me to move forward before joining the MAPP Programme. In reflecting on this, it is clear that mastery is a vital trait I developed during childhood and have always had to guide me. I believe this gave me an innate protective quality through enabling a firmly held belief that life can always be better and an enduring habit of hopeful thinking, regardless of circumstances. I will now explain my reasoning for this.
Mastery is defined as a psychological force that motivates an individual to focus on gaining a command of a skill or task (Morgan et al., 1990) and a sense of purpose focused on higher goals that contribute to the feeling of hope (Scioli & Biller, 2011). Mastery was not a trait I needed to actively acquire and is a skill I had naturally forced on me from birth. As a military child, I had moved eight times between two countries and attended five different schools before the age of 11. Due to this, I had trust in myself and the adults around me that each time I started a new school after a move, life would get easier again no matter how hard it was at the start. Regardless of the quality of my caregiver attachments, I had repeated experiences of meeting new adults, in the form of schoolteachers, that always cared for me, enabled a happy environment at each school and ensured my survival. It is an experience that enabled me to develop a strong ‘Hopeful Core’ in childhood and carried through life (Scioli & Biller, 2011) primed ready for the impact of Positive Psychology when I joined the MAPP Programme. I had an innately held vision of a better future, even when the vision lacked detail and I did not know how to get there.
Relating this motivation to Snyder’s theory of Hope (2002), I had an innate level of Will Power but not necessarily Way Power. As I undertook the MAPP Programme, my Way Power improved through feedforward and feedback functions combined with growing positive emotions, enabling increasing agency and hopeful thinking. In agreement with the ‘Hopeful Core’ (Scioli & Biller, 2011), the MAPP Programme built on my attachment, mastery, spirituality, and survival traits and propelled me through the upper levels of the ‘Hope Network’. I experienced openness from others, felt empowerment and a sense of purpose, and built a sense of trust in something greater than myself. I also believed I was being freed from adverse circumstances and that options would always be available to me. Many of the interventions I put in place for the final Journey of Change assignment in Year Two, that I continue to practise are beliefs and behaviours from the top level.
As discussed earlier, Hope has been found to be malleable, and hope therapy has shown that wellbeing can be increased and symptoms of distress decreased (Cheavens & Guter, 2018); however, there is a lack of research on hope interventions and domestic abuse. Moreover, there are contradicting findings in two studies related to hope and the suicidal behaviours of domestic abuse victims. One study found hope to be a protective factor (Meadows et al., 2005), and another found it was a risk (Chang et al., 2018). The studies used two very different populations; thus, it is hard to determine a reliable outcome on the usefulness of either study.
Schema Change
There is a burgeoning area of research integrating Schema Therapy and Positive Psychology, suggesting that positive psychology can enhance schema therapy through utilising interventions such as mindfulness, self-compassion, strengths, and acceptance (Roediger et al., 2018). Schema therapy developed from cognitive therapy and is considered highly integrative with other therapies. A person undergoing schema therapy would be treated with the goal of changing maladaptive schemas to adaptive schemas, ultimately reaching a healthy adult mode (Young, 1990). A fundamental part of schema therapy is self-reflection, and many of the MAPP assignments I completed involved writing reflectively whilst using PP Interventions. It appears possible that I experienced similar processes to schema therapy throughout the MAPP Programme. These processes changed my pre-existing maladaptive schemas to adaptative schemas, and I reached a Healthy Adult mode.
Roediger et al.; (2018) suggest that a focus on strengths promotes the Healthy Adult mode and the strengths module was one of the most pivotal modules I undertook early in Year One. During the strengths module, I comprehended that people could have learned behaviours they do not enjoy, which planted a seed that grew throughout the MAPP Programme, enabling a changed identity. Along with the strength’s module, self-compassion was a significant part of my journey, and I used interventions multiple times throughout the MAPP Programme.
Self-compassion can weaken schemas (Faustino et al., 2020) and lead to a healthy self (Wong, 2021). Researchers hypothesised that Positive Psychology principles could help create new schemas of resilience and self-confidence in a report encouraging hope and personal mastery (Griffore et al., 2012). They proposed this could be achieved through PP interventions promoting the idea that a current situation was a temporary condition, not related to own personal shortcomings, and emphasising an explanatory style that gives hope, even under their current circumstances.
The relatability of this idea to domestic abuse contexts is clear to see. In research supporting the strengths perspective for use with victims of abuse, Song and Shih (2010) found increases in life satisfaction, lowered depression, and empowerment. Furthermore, they proposed the functional components of healing to be the growth of a sense of self, action and affirmation and a realisation of self, suggesting that schema change is occurring.
Cognitive Dissonance
In accounting for how my awareness of abuse changed over time, I likely had an amount of cognitive dissonance relating to my childhood caregiver’s behaviour and its similarity to my ex-partner’s. Throughout the journal data, there are a few points where I mentioned abuse, each time stating that I did not want it in my life. I even agreed with a fellow student when they observed that what had happened to me was abuse. Nevertheless, each time I continued to ignore what was seemingly staring me in the face, that I had been a victim of abuse. It was only by finally recognising that my caregiver’s behaviour was abuse from my new self-identity that I recognised my ex-partner’s behaviour was abuse.
According to my early maladaptive schemas, my caregivers were good and loving, which meant how they behaved was okay. I was taught that psychological and emotional abuse was love; therefore, how my ex-partner behaved was normal. My cognitive dissonance resolved when I experienced familiar situations in a completely different way to how my past self would have experienced them. My maladaptive schemas had been replaced with adaptive schemas, and it was as if scales had fallen from my eyes.
A large part of the PP Interventions I used were self-compassion tools, self-affirmations and constant re-evaluations of my identity and feelings in the form of ‘How do I feel?’ and ‘Who am I?’. Self-affirmations are known to alleviate physiological and psychological stress responses (Cresswell et al., 2005). They can have large effects from small interventions if psychological processes of self-integrity maintenance are attuned to them (Cohen et al., 2006). As my new self-identity arose and I experienced increasing positive emotions, staying true to my values and what I stand for in life became increasingly important. Over time existing beliefs were changed, and I added new beliefs. My self-worth altered, and my cognitive dissonance decreased. This subsequently connected patterns of unrecognised childhood abuse I had suffered to the later domestic abuse and enabled recognition of abuse from a Healthy Adult mode when exposed to the familiar situations and perpetrators again.
Conclusion
The enduring problem of domestic abuse will not easily or quickly be changed. There are signs that consent mistreatment of women in the UK is becoming a more recognised issue that requires tackling through early preventative education and changing societal schemas around relationships (Freeman-Powell, 2021); however, domestic abuse is typically ignored in education policy. Researchers must pick up the mantle wherever achievable to effectively impact government policies and not leave the burden of change-making to survivor charities trying to make a difference in women’s lives and society. The possibility of Positive Psychology having a considerable impact in this area is obvious; understanding how this can happen is not yet evident. It may be that Positive Psychology can contribute more impactfully to preventative education than it currently can in ongoing domestic abuse contexts.
Overall, the idea of Positive Psychology becoming more integrated into traditional therapies is exciting and offers multiple new directions for the discipline. In the last 18 months, over the Covid-19 pandemic, awareness of mental health problems and Positive Psychology tools have increased exponentially in the media and public. Whilst it appears there are multiple avenues of Positive Psychology research taking place, it is still a discipline in its youth. It is essential that researchers ‘dream big’ and look for innovative ways of utilising PP theories and interventions across as many contexts as viable to benefit as far and wide as possible.
Limitations & Considerations for Future Research
The primary limitation to this study is arguably also its strength that it is an autoethnography account of one individual’s experience. On the one hand, a tiny snapshot of the author’s lived experience can be criticised for the possibility of bias with all the difficulties arising from this. However, the potential of the distorting effects of recall bias was minimised by using multiple sources of data. On the other hand, it offers a unique perspective that can add to the existing knowledge of an under-researched topic that may have the potential to help inform future researchers in the direction of their focus. A healing journey documented in the way this study presents, whilst encapsulating how the journey facilitated awareness of abuse is potentially a one-off vantage point hard to capture again.
The difficulty of reviewing one’s own lived experience, even whilst attempting to minimise bias, leaves me questioning whether significant aspects were missed that may be recognised by others who can offer a ‘distance’ that may yield unique findings. To this extent, the raw data used in this study is available for secondary analysis where appropriate.
How women heal from domestic abuse, become aware of domestic abuse, and where positive psychology sits in this area is an exceptionally complex topic to study, hence the absence of substantial progress in research. Related themes of healing appear to be emerging consistently in previous research, even though such themes are named differently. Rather than becoming overly focused on formulating a prescribed theory of the healing journey, future research should focus on the ‘what and when’ of the healing journey. What women did, when they did it, and how that relates to any potential toolkit of interventions that it may be possible to develop for use in domestic abuse contexts.
