Embracing Self-Worth: Overcoming Putting Others Before Yourself
As we go about our daily lives, it's all too easy to prioritise the needs of others over our own. We may feel that we don't have time to take care of ourselves or that we're being selfish if we do. This is particularly challenging for women; we are socialised from a young age to be caretakers and to look after others above ourselves. But the truth is that prioritising our needs is essential for our well-being, and neglecting them can lead to stress, burnout and feelings of fear and self-doubt. In this post, we'll explore the concept of self-worth, strategies for overcoming the fear of self-care, and provide actionable steps to build a healthier relationship with yourself.
The Concept of Self-worth
Many of us have been conditioned to believe that taking care of ourselves is selfish or that we don't deserve it. However, we are all worthy of love and respect, including from ourselves. Too many of us were not given unconditional love as children, so we grew up seeking validation that we were 'good enough' by doing things for others. We don’t know that we are all good enough just because we exist; I'll say that again to reinforce it. You are good enough because you exist; that is all it takes to be good enough. You don't need to achieve things, do things for others, or be successful in any way to be good enough; it's a given, it's a fact, it's the truth:
YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH.
But knowing we are good enough and feeling good enough to take care of ourselves without feeling guilty or selfish is often challenging because our self-worth is often so intertwined with doing things for others. You are not alone in this. Understanding and accepting our own self-worth is the first step in learning to prioritise our needs. It can be helpful to take time to reflect on our strengths and accomplishments and practice self-compassion in our daily lives to help build self-worth. Indeed, learning to practice both tender and fierce self-compassion plays a massive part in building self-worth on the days we make mistakes and need self-kindness, and on the days we need to stand up for our needs and need to advocate for ourselves,
Strategies for Overcoming the Fear of Prioritising Your Needs
One of the main reasons we avoid prioritising our needs and practising self-care is that we are afraid of what others will think. We may worry that we'll be seen as selfish or lazy or that we'll be letting others down, and in turn, this makes us feel guilty when we take time for ourselves. But the truth is that taking care of ourselves is not only crucial for our own well-being, but it also enables us to better care for others when necessary. Some strategies for overcoming the fear of prioritising yourself include setting boundaries, learning to say no, and seeking support from trusted friends or family members through learning how to ask for help and/or share household tasks in a more balanced way. After all, why should women take on all the mental load of household chores and childcare?
Actionable Steps to Prioritising Yourself
Now that we've discussed the importance of prioritising your needs and strategies for overcoming the fear of it, let's explore some actionable steps that we can take to build a healthier relationship with ourselves. These steps include:
Prioritising self-care activities, such as exercise, meditation, or hobbies
Setting clear boundaries around work and personal time
Practising self-compassion and forgiveness
Seeking professional help if needed
By taking these steps, we can begin to build a healthier relationship with ourselves and begin to prioritise our own needs, leading to greater overall well-being and fulfilment. However, it's common for women to not know where to start and to find this difficult to put into practice. Guilt can play a massive part in keeping women responsible for taking on the load of others and struggling to prioritise one's needs. Guilt is something conditioned into women through gender norms, and it can be unlearned over time.
Prioritising our own needs can be a challenging but essential aspect of life. By understanding our own self-worth, overcoming the fear of self-care, and taking actionable steps to build a healthier relationship with ourselves, we can begin to prioritise our own well-being and lead happier, more fulfilling lives.
