How to Boost Your Happiness and Fulfilment: A Beginner's Guide to Positive Psychology Basics
Introduction
For most of my life, I have struggled with happiness and overthinking. I couldn't understand why I wasn't as happy as other people. I used to think, "If only I had that job, that relationship, that lifestyle, then I'd be happy." But the more I read self-development books and worked on myself, the more elusive happiness felt. I'd sometimes get what I thought would make me happy, but the feeling never lasted. Does this sound familiar to you?
It's a struggle many of us face. We try various methods to find happiness and fulfilment, and while they may work for a while, they often slip through our fingers. It's a frustrating and disheartening cycle. But then, I discovered positive psychology, a branch of psychology that focuses on the positive aspects of the human experience, such as happiness, wellbeing, and personal strengths. Unlike traditional psychology, it doesn't dwell on our flaws. It's about recognising our strengths and building upon them. In this blog, I'll introduce you to the empowering basics of positive psychology and provide you with practical steps to enhance your happiness and fulfilment, starting today.
Understanding Positive Psychology
What is Positive Psychology?
Positive psychology is the scientific study of what makes life worth living. Instead of focusing solely on mental illness, deficits, and problems, it focuses on strengths and factors that contribute to a fulfilling life.
Key Concepts of Positive Psychology
Strengths: Recognising and using your personal strengths to improve your life.
Gratitude: Being thankful for what you have and recognising the good in your life.
Mindfulness: Being present in the moment and fully engaging with your current experience.
Flow: Getting so absorbed in an activity that you lose track of time and feel at your best.
Benefits of Positive Psychology
Positive psychology is not about 'toxic positivity,' a term that dismisses negative feelings and the challenges of life. Instead, it teaches us to find joy and meaning in our everyday lives, even in the face of adversity. By embracing positive psychology practices, we can enhance our wellbeing, boost our life satisfaction, strengthen our resilience, and nurture our relationships. It's a powerful tool that can transform the way we experience life, empowering us to take control of our happiness and fulfilment.
One of the key benefits of applying positive psychology principles to daily life is captured by the Broaden and Build theory, a concept developed by psychologist Barbara Fredrickson. This theory suggests that experiencing positive emotions—like joy, gratitude, and love—broadens our thoughts and behaviours and enables us to consider new ways of being. In other words, feeling good opens up our minds and hearts, making us more receptive to new ideas, challenges, and connections. Over time, these positive emotions and actions build our personal resources, such as skills, knowledge, and relationships, which, in turn, contribute to our overall happiness and fulfilment.
Assessing Your Current Happiness and Fulfilment: A Starting Point for Your Positive Psychology Journey
Self-Reflection
Take a moment to think about your current levels of happiness. Ask yourself:
What makes me happy right now?
What areas of my life feel unfulfilled?
When do I feel most alive and engaged?
Identify Gaps
Identify where you feel discontentment. Is it in your relationships, work, personal growth, or elsewhere? For instance, you might feel dissatisfied with the lack of quality time you spend with your family, or you might feel unfulfilled in your current job. Knowing where these gaps are can help you focus your efforts and make positive changes in these areas.
Set Intentions
Set clear, positive intentions for your happiness journey. Instead of vague goals like "be happier," aim for specific ones like "practice gratitude daily," "spend more time with loved ones," or "engage in a hobby you enjoy."
Step-by-Step Guide to Integrating Positive Psychology: Practical Steps for Boosting Your Happiness and Fulfilment
Step 1: Practice Gratitude
Explanation
Gratitude is about appreciating what you have and recognising the good in your life. It shifts your focus from what's missing to noticing what's present.
Actionable Tips
Keep a gratitude journal: This involves writing down three things you're grateful for daily. It could be as simple as being thankful for your morning coffee. This practice can help you shift your focus from what's missing to what's present in your life, fostering a sense of gratitude and contentment.
Express thanks: Tell someone you appreciate them.
Example Exercise
Every evening, write down three things that went well during your day, why they happened and how you felt. This simple exercise can shift your mindset and help you see the positives more clearly.
Step 2: Cultivate Mindfulness
Explanation
Mindfulness is a state of being fully present and engaged in the moment without judgment or distraction. It's about paying attention to your thoughts and feelings and the world around you in a nonjudgmental way. It's a practice that can help you enjoy life's experiences more fully and reduce stress. (*ADHD tip: Regularly practising mindfulness has been the biggest game changer for me in handling my ADHD symptoms!).
Actionable Tips
Practice mindful breathing: Focus on your breath for a few minutes daily.
Try mindful eating: Pay attention to your food's taste, texture, and smell.
Example Exercise
Set aside five minutes each day for a mindfulness meditation. Sit comfortably, close your eyes, and focus on your breath. When your mind wanders, gently bring it back to your breath.
Step 3: Identify and Use Your Strengths
Explanation
Everyone has unique strengths, which can be defined as the qualities or characteristics that come naturally to us and that we excel in. We often feel a sense of fulfilment and success when we use these strengths. Knowing your strengths can help you apply them in daily life and enhance your overall satisfaction and wellbeing.
Actionable Tips
Reflect on your strengths: Think about times when you felt successful and fulfilled. What skills were you using?
Take a free or paid strengths assessment: Tools like the VIA Survey and Strengths Profile can help you identify your top strengths.
Example Exercise
Choose one of your strengths and find a new way to use it daily. For example, if your strength is kindness, do a small act of kindness for someone.
Step 4: Nurture Positive Relationships
Explanation
Strong, positive relationships are crucial for happiness and fulfilment. They provide support, joy, and a sense of belonging.
Actionable Tips
Spend quality time with loved ones: Make time for family and friends.
Communicate effectively: Listen actively and express yourself honestly.
Example Exercise
Write a letter of appreciation to someone who has made a difference in your life. Not only will it make their day, but it will also boost your own happiness.
Step 5: Engage in Activities that Create Flow
Explanation
Flow is the state of being completely absorbed in an activity. It's when you're doing something you love, and time seems to fly by.
Actionable Tips
Identify flow activities: Think about activities that you enjoy and make you lose track of time.
Schedule regular time for these activities: Make them a priority in your life.
Example Exercise
Choose a hobby or activity you love and set aside regular time for it. It could be painting, playing a sport, or even cooking. The key is to find something that fully engages you.
Step 6: Cultivate Self-Compassion
Explanation
Self-compassion involves treating yourself with kindness and understanding, especially in moments of difficulty or failure, as you would treat a friend. It's about acknowledging your own humanity and embracing your imperfections with empathy rather than self-criticism.
Actionable Tips
Practice self-kindness: Treat yourself as you would a good friend, offering words of encouragement and support.
Practice mindfulness: Be present with your feelings and thoughts without judgment, allowing yourself to experience them fully.
Recognise common humanity: Remember that everyone faces challenges and setbacks; you are not alone in your struggles.
Example Exercise
The next time you experience a setback or make a mistake, try offering words of comfort and understanding instead of beating yourself up. Remind yourself that mistakes are a natural part of life and an opportunity for growth.
Maintaining and Measuring Progress
Consistency
Consistency is key to integrating these practices into your life. Make them part of your daily routine. If they fall by the wayside, don't beat yourself up; pick them back up again and keep moving forward.
Tracking Progress
Track your progress through journaling, mood-tracking apps, or regular self-check-ins. This will help you see how far you've come and where you might need to adjust.
Adjustments
Life changes, and so will your needs and goals. Be flexible and adjust practices as needed to stay on your path to happiness and fulfilment.
Conclusion
So, to recap, positive psychology offers practical ways to boost your happiness and fulfilment through practices such as gratitude, mindfulness, using your strengths, fostering positive relationships, and engaging in flow activities. These steps are simple but powerful. Start integrating them into your life today and see the difference they make.
My journey through learning about positive psychology came about because of career plans; little did I know what a difference studying positive psychology would have on my happiness. I struggle at times, just as everyone else does; the difference is that I have positive psychology practices to fall back on that help me get back on track.
Now it's your turn. Begin your journey with these practices, and remember to share your experiences or questions in the comments. Subscribe to the Serenity Seekers newsletter for tips on living a happier, more fulfilling life.
Additional Resources
Books
"Flourish" by Martin Seligman
"The How of Happiness” by Sonja Lyubomirsky
"Mindfulness for Beginners" by Jon Kabat-Zinn
Websites/Blogs
Positive Psychology Network: A non-profit organisation offering online qualifications in Positive Psychology and Neurodiversity. As a consultant for the organisation, I work with experts to promote understanding and inclusion. Together, we empower individuals to thrive and contribute positively.
Embark on this journey today and watch how your life transforms with these simple yet profound positive psychology practices.
