You know that feeling when you’re exhausted and overwhelmed?
When you're constantly putting everyone else's needs before your own? When you feel guilty for doing anything for yourself? When you never have enough time, can’t stop people-pleasing, and are constantly in anxious “good girl’ mode with toxic relationships, but you keep pushing through because you think you have to?
Yeah, I've been there too.
How I Overcame Self-Doubt and Built Confidence
Let me introduce myself…
Hey there, I'm Emma—a Compassionate Coach and Positive Psychologist on a mission to empower women just like you. You know, the ones who are tired of feeling stuck in their careers and trapped in unhealthy toxic relationships, whether romantic or otherwise. I've been there myself, feeling suffocated by societal expectations and constantly putting others' needs before my own, exhausted from anxious “good girl” mode.
But here's the thing: it doesn't have to be that way. My journey with Positive Psychology taught me that true fulfilment comes from within, and now, I'm here to share that wisdom with you.
Dare to dream up a scene where you wake up each day feeling confident in your career and secure in your relationships knowing that you matter too. No more second-guessing yourself or sacrificing your own wellbeing for the sake of others. Together, we'll break free from the chains of patriarchal conditioning and rewrite the narrative of your life.
My women’s empowerment coaching approach is simple yet profound. Through tailored coaching, empowering courses, and thoughtfully designed digital products, I'll guide you on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment. Together, we'll unlearn old habits, prioritise your needs without guilt, and cultivate a life filled with authentic success and genuine connections.
So if you're ready to say goodbye to stress and overwhelm and hello to a life of empowerment, confidence and fulfilment, let's make it happen. You deserve nothing less than a life that's authentically yours. BECAUSE YOU MATTER, ALWAYS.
Some of my journal entries from 2010 - Can you relate?
I’m not feeling so good about myself tonight. I haven’t worked out where this feeling is coming from yet, I hope it’s just a temporary thing due to a cold and tiredness. I feel fat, frumpy and no good.
I’m really fed up today, resentful of all the sh*t that I have to do and tired of feeling alone and unappreciated, bad day 😔
Let's face it: as women, we often find ourselves constantly putting other people's needs over our own.
You probably spend too much time:
Struggling to say no without feeling consumed by guilt
Feeling like a bad person or worrying about not being liked when asserting your needs
Experiencing severe fear and panic when expressing your needs, especially if they differ from your partner's desires, fearing it may hurt them or lead to anger
Battling with low self-esteem
Feeling anxious about the importance of your voice, believing it goes unheard whether you speak up or not
Finding it difficult to express your feelings, thoughts, and needs, often avoiding asking for help
Despite being a feminist, you still feel small and powerless around confident men, often yielding to their viewpoints to avoid conflict
Losing yourself in relationships, reflecting on past experiences and realising you weren't truly present
Frequently comparing yourself to others and perceiving them as better than you
Experiencing discomfort when meeting new people due to fear of judgment
Struggling with setting and maintaining boundaries in various aspects of life
Feeling overwhelmed by societal expectations and the pressure to meet them
Dealing with imposter syndrome, feeling like a fraud despite professional achievements
Coping with the emotional toll of caretaking roles, whether for family members, friends, or colleagues
Navigating the impact of past traumas or unresolved issues on current relationships and self-esteem
Feeling disconnected from your own desires and passions, unsure of what truly brings you joy and fulfilment
Experiencing challenges in asserting yourself in male-dominated environments, such as the workplace or social settings
Coping with the stress of constantly striving for perfection in all aspects of life
Through women’s empowerment coaching, I’ve helped numerous clients overcome these struggles and achieve the balance they need in their lives. I’ve been able to do this because I’ve been there, too.
Maybe you want to:
Gain the ability to say no confidently and without guilt
Learn to ask for what you want and need assertively and effectively, while still being loving
Develop the resilience to stand by your words even if they're not well-received
Prioritise your own needs over your partner's, even if it means disagreement
Find your voice and confidence in interactions where others seem more authoritative or successful, especially men
Assert boundaries and disappoint others without internal emotional turmoil
Overcome self-doubt and realise your inherent worth
Advocate for yourself even in situations where others hold more power
Validate your emotions and acknowledge your right to feel them, regardless of others' opinions
Cultivate genuine, honest, and kind relationships
Embrace authenticity and allow others to see the real you
Develop a deeper understanding of your own values and desires, guiding your decisions and actions with greater clarity and purpose
Cultivate resilience in the face of setbacks and challenges, learning to bounce back stronger and more determined than ever before
Discover new coping strategies and self-care practices tailored to your individual needs, promoting overall wellbeing and resilience
Harness the power of self-compassion and forgiveness, releasing yourself from the burden of past mistakes and regrets
Build a supportive network of like-minded individuals who uplift and encourage you on your journey towards personal growth and fulfilment
Explore new opportunities for personal and professional development, embracing challenges as opportunities for growth and learning
You've probably tried all sorts of things to try to change this pattern - asking for help, setting boundaries, and practising self-care.
But you still struggle with prioritising yourself over others, and nothing seems to work.
BUT THE SECRET? THE THING THAT WILL ACTUALLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE?
Is learning how to give yourself permission to live life for you.
Think about all the times you put other people first because you don’t feel you deserve to come first, and your life is consumed by taking care of others, leaving you little time and energy for yourself. It’s not your fault; it’s because there’s a secret that many women aren’t aware of - we have emotional rights.
EMOTIONAL RIGHTS? What are these?
You might be wondering, "What are emotional rights?" Simply put, they're the rights we all have to our own emotional wellbeing. Women are taught that it's their responsibility to make sure everyone else is happy and supported, but that's just not true. And the crazy thing is, we have emotional rights that we're often completely unaware of! As women, we're often taught that it's our job to take care of everyone else and put ourselves last, but this couldn't be further from the truth. In fact, by prioritising our own needs and learning to say no to others when necessary, we're actually better able to support and care for those around us.
So I made it my mission to help women create permission to live their lives for themselves without feeling guilty or selfish because you matter too.
That's right; you have permission to take care of yourself and engage in activities you enjoy. It's time to honour your emotional rights and stop trying to be good enough. You matter, always.
Embracing Your Right to Self-Care
Recognising that self-care isn't selfish; it's essential for your overall wellbeing and the quality of your relationships. Understanding that setting boundaries isn't about pushing others away; it's about honouring your own needs and creating healthier dynamics in your interactions. Embracing the idea that self-compassion is not a luxury but a necessity, allowing you to navigate life's challenges with greater resilience and grace. Realising that self-love is not conditional; it's unconditional acceptance and appreciation of yourself, just as you are, flaws and all. Acknowledging that seeking support isn't a sign of weakness; it's a courageous step towards growth and healing.
SO WHAT’S MY STORY, YOU ASK?
WHY DO I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT HELPING YOU WITH THIS?
For years, I felt like I was drowning in a sea of responsibilities. Work, motherhood, and just trying to keep up with life left me feeling burned out and unable to enjoy anything. And the worst part? I felt guilty for even thinking about my own needs. I thought I had to be a superhero and do it all. I felt like I was constantly spinning my wheels, trying to keep up with everything and everyone around me. I struggled with overwhelming feelings of guilt and exhaustion, and like many women, I constantly put the needs of others ahead of my own. I thought that if I did everything for everyone I would finally be ‘good enough’ and had no idea what healthy boundaries looked like - I was a super people pleaser and suffered frequent bouts of burnout. My anxiety was always there, lurking in the background and making it hard for me to fully enjoy my life. I tried everything to change this - asking for help, setting boundaries, and practising self-care. But after years of pushing through and ignoring my own needs - nothing seemed to work, and I wanted to know why. I finally realised that something needed to change.
That's when I discovered the power of Positive Psychology. As a certified coach with a Master's in Positive Psychology and a Bachelor's in Psychology, I began to learn and apply positive psychology interventions to my own life and the lives of others. I practised self-compassion and mindfulness techniques, focused on positive emotions and strengths, and increased my creativity and spirituality. And slowly but surely, I began to heal.
I know what you're thinking - "that all sounds great, but how does it apply to me?" Well, here's the thing: women still take on the majority of emotional labour and kin-keeping roles in society. We're taught that it's our responsibility to make sure everyone else is happy and supported, but the truth is, it's not our responsibility. And we have emotional rights that we're often unaware of. We have the right to take care of ourselves and engage in activities we enjoy without feeling guilty or selfish. We have the right to live our lives for ourselves instead of for others, and we matter, always.
I believe that unlearning patriarchal conditioning leads to a more fulfilling, authentic life.
Here's How I Can Help You
As your women’s empowerment coach and guide, I understand the struggles you're facing. I've been there myself, feeling overwhelmed and guilty for prioritising my own needs. But I've also experienced the transformative power of Positive Psychology and learned how to reclaim my life. Now, I'm here to help you do the same. Together, we'll navigate the challenges you're facing, and I'll provide you with the tools and support you need to overcome them. You don't have to go through this alone. Let's embark on this journey of self-discovery and empowerment together.
Read some client stories here.
My Life Today
A Journal Entry from 2019
I remember wanting to be as free, happy and confident in my own choices as Carrie Bradshaw, I am finally there! My life is mine, I will not allow anyone to take my self-worth again, I love myself, I deserve the best, I deserve happiness and I have it. Life is finally good and I am me me me me!! 😊😊😊
I now have a toolkit of wellbeing and self-care tools to use when I need them, and my mind has become quieter. I have a much freer lifestyle and can focus on the things I want to do rather than feeling anxious all the time. I still have days that don't go so well - I'm human like everyone else - but I know all the things that help me relax and recenter quickly (like taking a walk in nature).
Through my journey, I’ve learned invaluable lessons that have transformed my life:
I've developed healthy boundaries that allow me to prioritise my own needs and wants without sacrificing relationships or responsibilities
I've learned effective communication strategies to handle situations where I need to be assertive or tell someone to take care of something themselves
I've discovered the power of saying no without feeling guilty or fearful of letting others down
I've identified and pursued my passions and interests, integrating them into my daily life for greater fulfilment
I've overcome feelings of guilt, fear, and self-doubt that were once holding me back from living authentically
I've created a sustainable, fulfilling lifestyle that not only cares for myself but also allows me to support and care for others
I've gained more time in my life!
But my journey didn't end there. Along the way, I've also learned:
Effective coping mechanisms for managing stress and overwhelm, especially in demanding work or personal situations
The importance of cultivating self-compassion and forgiveness to overcome perfectionism and self-criticism
Techniques for managing and reducing anxiety in various aspects of life
Strategies for fostering resilience and adaptability to cope with setbacks and challenges in both personal and professional realms
How to cultivate a sense of purpose and fulfilment by aligning my actions with core values and beliefs
The transformative power of practising gratitude and mindfulness to foster a positive mindset and enhance overall wellbeing
The significance of building a support network of like-minded individuals or seeking professional guidance to maintain progress and growth
Through my experiences and learnings, I've not only transformed my own life but am also committed to helping others on their journey towards personal growth and fulfillment.
Things To Know About Me…
I am a survivor — I was born unable to breathe and have been fighting ever since through trauma, divorce and post-separation abuse
I moved countries in 2020 during the pandemic to change my lifestyle (I didn’t actually move very far, but it sounds good)
I live in the mountains in Wales — the views are wonderful
I love books; I would love to own a second-hand bookshop!
I have loved writing since I was young but forgot that somewhere around age 16 until I picked it up again a few years ago
I have a deep desire for freedom in my life
Coping is my superpower and not good for me, practicing self-compassion helped me unlearn unwanted patterns of behaviour
I’m a productivity geek
I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease Hashimoto’s, which caused hypothyroidism at the age of 21. I then spent the majority of my adult life feeling weak and ashamed when my fatigue, aching joints and brain fog meant I needed to spend weekends in bed to recover from a simple working week
I spent time as a call volunteer for the Samaritans
I finally went to university at age 38 and graduated with my first degree at age 40
I love dancing! Seriously love dancing…
I have been a single parent for over 16 years, bringing up my daughters alone from the ages of 5 & 7
I wanted to be an archaeologist or an RAF fighter pilot when I was a child
I am a Positive Psychologist and Happiness Coach. I have an MSc in Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP), BSc Psychology Hons and am certified in Positive Psychology Coaching and Integrative Coaching, which means I can help people with their life satisfaction, mindset and behaviours
I wrote my masters dissertation on healing from domestic abuse and positive psychology
Part of the work I do is as a Positive Psychology Consultant for the Positive Psychology Guild — take a look here if you have a passion for positive psychology
My day jobs have included pharmacy, market research coding, recruitment, project management & university admissions — none of which are my passion, but they paid the bills
I am a big fan of taking the path into the unknown when life gives you options — even though it terrifies me when I do it
I love the awesomeness of the natural world; I walk around saying “wow” a lot in my head
I’m Aquarius, INFJ and Enneagram 9
I have an idea for a novel but not the courage or skill to start it yet
I’m a complicated human who constantly craves simplicity
I received a later-in-life diagnosis of Adult ADHD and am going through the diagnosis process for ASD
I have an adorable and naughty Golden Retriever called Bear
